HRH Ashjolina, Ruler of Ashford

HRH Ashjolina, Ruler of Ashford
God Dust the Queen!!! by Mark Otero/POPGUN Design SF/USA

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Searching for funny takes on Ash Cloud...FOUND IT!

Let me say, as a person pretending to be a responsible journalist, I must give credit to the website the Spoof.  (no link because you have to read down further first, dammit).

Here's a little spin on the cloud...enjoy!

The volcano which is named Eyjafjallajokull (pronounced: ELIN-NOR-de-GREN) has been spewing forth literally thousands of tons of gray volcanic ash, much like the volcanic ash that is found in most activated volcanoes.

Craig F. Kipplemeister, director of NAVAO, stated that the monstrous volcano has the potential of making Mount St. Helens appear like a mere pimple on a teenage boy's face.

Kipplemeister went on to say that many people from all over the world falsely believe that the sixteen lettered name Eyjafjallajokull is actually Ukrainian and translates to: Shit-filled lavanistic mountain. 

Mount Eyja, for short, has already disrupted 99.7 percent of all U.K. and European airtravel. It has caused the gay and lesbian ship line, The High Seas Lisp Line to cancel 41 cruises including the infamous two week cruise from San Francisco Harbor to the GreekIsland of Las Lesbos, where lesbians can get a marriage license for 8,000 Dacabatittis [15 cents U.S].

Eyja has also caused Lindsay Lohan to have still one more damn thing to sit and cry incessantly about.

GOPrincess Ann Coulter has blamed the volcanic eruption on the Democratic led congress. Rush Limbaugh agrees with her. Bill O'Reilly agrees with Rush. And Sean Hannity agrees with Bill.

That is some funny shit!  Seriously.

Thanks to


  1. You got to be the most intersting/funny/crazy person I've known. I'm just laughing at your adventures, because I know it's all true. Too crazy to make this up. Gosh, to be a fly on the wall in your life would be hysterical. You're the best Cole. Hope you make it home safely. I was wondering why you haven't posted on your other blog. Miss you.

  2. Hey CB,

    You are a funny lady! Enjoy London. I look forward to your posts when you return (whenever that will be).

    NJ Fan

  3. The name of the volcano sounds eeriely like Tiger Woods wife's name, is this not strange. Anne, Rush and all those stupid republicians are wrong it wasn't Obama's health care that caused this but Tiger Wood's wife!

  4. Cole you have some of the craziest shit happen to you! I have laughed reading these posts. Hope you get home safe and soon. Enjoy as best as you can and don't do anything I wouldn't do hahaha!